It is a goal of mine to being blogging more regularly, about anything. I realized that when i push myself to write about my life, or emotions or whatever, i diminish my desire to write, and loose the power of relief from writing. So whether it be song lyrics, pictures, postsecrets, or whatever inspires me to write. As long as there is inspiration, then im okay. Im not going to pressure myself anymore as to fit some certain standard. I dont write to have a mega blog, with tons of readers. I write for me. This is the winner for this blog!
"except when they dont, because sometimes they wont. And indeed, bang ups and hang ups can happen to you..."
And the text on the image sums it up, for many many different people. Some im glad i believe in, some i wish i didnt, but still do. Regardless, i believe in you. I believe in a bigger picture, and that you, just like every single one of us plays a part, no matter how big or small. I believe your life is worth it- regardless of circumstances. I believe that in the end, we'll all be okay. If it's not okay, its not the end.
I believe im meant to be with you. I believe i will be. =]
I dont care just how negative and pensive this is. I need to vent, and instead of taking my frustration and other emotions out on other people.
"You are not as persecuted as you make yourself out to be.."- She has no freakin idea. Everyday i get to hear about how awful things are for you, hear you complain about your responsibilties, F*** this, Damn that... You dont create the best enviorment here, and you wonder why i so badly want to leave. Why i seek comfort in other people, when you "try and try", i love you. No doubt about that, but you dont make life that easy.
"You wont amount to anything..." I dont care what you say, i know i deserve what i have. I worked hard for my things, for my accomplishments, i dont care if you think ill get pregnant this year, if i wont complete college, that i'll push everybody away, I am proud of myself. I know who i am. You cant push me around. I dont live for you thank you very much. I dont live to please any of you.
Go ahead, read my journals, talk your crap, try to break me down. You bruised me, but you will NEVER get the satisfaction of breaking me down. Make your jokes, play your games, because im done. I didnt push you away, all of your abuse and stupid vulgar behavior, and your diminishing actions, and theft, pushed me away.
Soon enough i'll be gone. And as it goes.. When you need me but dont want me, i'll be there. When you want me, but done need me, i'll be gone.
Regardless of whether you want me or need me, ill be gone. Part of me is sorry, the other part could care less.
I'll be okay. And I'll be free. I can truely beoome the person i was meant to be- Without any of your influence.
I believe i will achieve. I believe that i'll be happy with my choices. Regardless whether you are or not.
I love you, i do. But i dont like you. i try to respect you. I dont want to care about you.
So three things we got straight: I dont care what you think anymore, if you dont give me reason to. I'm not what you label. Say what you want. I know i deserve happiness, and i will be. I'll be just dandy. _____________________________________________________________________________________
