An Unexpected Post.

Its okay to be broken at times right? To feel like you have no control, no matter how much you try.
It's okay to be bruised right? And damaged?
I feel like I've got to keep hardening my heart to keep this from happening time and time again.
But this isnt my fault.
I could write about how angry i am, and how sad and confused i am.
How sometimes the insides of my lungs itch and feel like they are burning- because i want to scream at her so loud.,
I could, but i wont.
Cause im slowly realizing things more and more:

-I'm my own person- and as much as i want to help, and console, and protect others. I am still entitiled to my feelings. I still have to do what is good for me- and that doesn't make me selfish. It doesnt.

-As you grow up, you learn so much more. And what you learn can change your heart. I've learned alot lately, and my heart has changed.

Through this- and through encouragement- i've learned- that mostly- it's okay to let go.
It's okay to be broken. It's okay to lose hope. It's okay to be damaged.

But it's good to pick yourself up when your ready- to have hope again. To let yourself heal. To believe that things can change and that miracles can happen.

I have one person especially that helps me believe this.
He helps me heal.
He lets me go on and on, and cry it out.
He does sweet things to help me feel better.
He consistently reminds me- that i am okay. And i will be okay. So will everything else.
He reminds me of my future- when im so overwhelmed with just today.
He brings me back to the basics.
He's so perfect for me.
And i'm so blessed that not only do i have that in my life, but i also get to be that for somebody else.

=]

I didnt expect this post to turn out like that- i had planned to write about healing, and letting go.
And choosing the spirit of my heart.
But it just wasnt there anymore, it was gone. Because in the grand scheme-

I am okay. And I WILL BE OKAY!!
Just like my mom always says.

Love you Mom.
Love you Ray.

" May you have enough happiness to make you sweet. Enough trials to make you strong. Enough sorrow to keep you human. Enough hope to make you happy."

I do have enough happiness- I am happy- just how i am right now. Sitting at Ray's store, with his computer catching up on Greys Anatomy, blogging, and drinking my warm drink. (And watching my sweet man work!! ) I love simple moments like this. These are when i am often the happiest.
It doesnt take much to please me. =]

I have seen and gone through more then enough trials to make me strong- And even though sometimes i buckle, and get weak. I'd say that this girls got a pretty strong heart. "I got it from my momma...I got it from my momma.." Haha.

I've known enough sorrow to keep me human- to keep me considerate, and passionate to help others. I've seen enough hurt to want just help take some of that away.

And I have enough hope to keep me happy- And i find it in the small things. In the simple, ordinary, mundane things. Small talk. Just sitting and relaxing. Writing. Words of reassurance.

=]
gee- reading over this- i write and sound just like my mom. The small things. Simple pleasures for a simple mind... I dont really mind, not at all. =]

new septembers

"I guess you really did it this time,left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a tightrope, lost your mind tryin' to get it back
Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything?
And everybody believed in you?
It's alright, just wait and see, your string of lights is still bright to me.
Who you are is not where you've been.
youre still an innnocent
Did some things you cant speak of,
but tonight youll live it all again
you wouldnt be shattered on the floor now,
if only you'd sing what you know now then
Wasn't it easier in the firefly catching days?
everything out of reach someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn't it beautiful runnin wild til you fell asleep?
before the monsters caught up to you?
its alright just wait and see
youre string of lights is still bright to me
who you are is not where youve been
its okay life is a tough crowd
32 and still growin up now
who you are is not what you did
you're still an innocent
time turns flames to embers
you'll have new septembers
every one of us has messed up to
lives change like the weather
i hope you remeber
today is never late to be
BRAND NEW
its alright, just wait and see

your string of lights is still bright to me

who you are is not where you've been

it's okay, life is a tough crowd

32 and still growin up now

who you are is not what you did,

you're still an innocent
lost your balance on a tightrope
its never too late to get it back

Greatness.

"but always, if we have faith, a door will open for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would have ever though of, but one that will ultimately prove good for us."
-A.J. Cronin

Ohhh, catching up is hard to do..

Well not really, its just the finding where to start that is..

But i decided tonight to make time for myself to just sit, relax and write! I came down to the Starbucks with my LOVEly Raymond is closing tonight to do just that. What else is better then sitting with a white mocha americano, cute music, writing, and seeing my great man? =]

The first thing i thought id write about was this little book that my mom found at the Cal State book store. We both went down for a little day together ( i love spending time with my mom!) to turn transcripts in, look at where all my classes would be, and to look up all of my books.

She found it, and we bought it. This cute little book is called, "Who Moved My Cheese?"

Its this little book about change. and how we act when faced with change. The "cheese" in this story represents what we work for, what we want, or what makes us happy and comfortable with our lives. The cheese is our jobs, our relationships, our type of lifesyles. Anyhow, in this little story, it shows 2 mice, who learn to accept change. There is Sniff, who learns to look for change as it gradually comes, and reacts in a calm reasonable manner. There is Scurry who tends to freak out when change comes his way, and scurries ( hence the names..) when he needs to take care of things.Then there are two people who are placed in the same situation as the mice, basically, their cheese goes, "missing", they must be being tricked, or somebody mustve taken it, but really, its just slowly gone away as they have all enjoyed eating the cheese.

The first human character is "Hem" who denies that any changes have ever occured, and then starts to resist change, as he fears that it will lead to something far worse. And his partner is "Haw" who learns to adapt to new situations in time, when he sees that changing circumstances are leading to something better!

The story goes on to write about how each of these characters deals with the missing cheese, its quite cute!

But, i stopped quite a couple times while i was reading it aloud to my mom on the drive home, and laughed inside my head, and realized some simple yet profound things.

I'd definitely reccomend that you read it! =]

Anyhow, the reason that i bring this book up, besides being awesomely great by itself, is that some of its points, have been really hitting close to home lately.

So... I dont get to go to Cal State this fall semester.

There i said it. I'm not happy about it, but it simply is what it is.

At first, I was just sad about it. I felt like i'd failed, like it was my fault. I didn't want to talk about it, I just wanted to pick up my pieces, and move on.

Not talking about it, helped me to do just that.

My LOVEly, helped reassure me that everything would still work out for us. We would still do all that we wanted with our lives, and that this is probably what was best for us during this time.

He's right.

It's been a little bit hard this week, realizing that i could be in really exciting and interesting classes right now, but i just remind myself, that i will do great things, i am capable of that!

So, instead, of dwelling on that, I will post about happy things!

Ray and i went on a cute, little, wonderful mini vacation to Sacremento this past weekend!!

We went up for the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition Walk/Run. This is something that was really special to me because my aunt who passed from this particular cancer. It was really nice to have Raymond there supporting myself and my family in that.

We drove up on friday, after Ray got off wok. That was quite intense, as we had a little problem with the car, but thats being taken care of!! We just had a nice time driving together. =]

We got up to Christi's house and soon after fell asleep.

The next morning i woke up earlier then everybody else, and got all dressed and ready, and just read by myself. Then everybody else got up, and we took care of Ray's window.

While waiting to get ready to go out for the day, i decorated ray and my numbers, and "in honor of" papers for the walk.

Then we went to this really beautiful and awesome nursery called High Hand Nursery!

Raymond and I really enjoyed ourselves there, all the unique plants, and fall colored trees, made us quite happy!

Awhh, we love eachother!! =]]

Then we went back home and got ready for the walk, went down to Old Sac met up with the family, and walked around a bit, and headed over to Shriner's Children's Hospital ( i think it'd be pretty awesome to work here one day!) for the walk!

Team 'Than!!
Taking Hopefilled Action Now!! =]

Ray and i just walked by ourselves holding hands for the most time, and we just talked and talked, and looked at the cute houses.
About us. My aunt. Me wanting to be an oncologist, but could no longer do that.
Just stuff. It was so nice! I just love him!

Then..

It was a really really great walk!!

The rest of the weekend we spent relaxing, eating, and driving home.
It was nice to have a little time away from everything..
and to come back refreshed, and with a new sense of everything.
=]

family pt 2

So to resume my family post-

Matthew- I love your sense of humor. I love that you can be both sarcastic and serious =] I love your passion for music. I love that you accepted our family for what it is. Not only that you accepted it, but embraced it. I like your little babies!! I like that your patient, and honest. =] Im glad that you are in our family! Youre a very wonderful brother in law!!

J.K- I love that you want to fix things- no matter what it is. You want to make things right. I like that i can call you for random things!! I like that we're pretty close. I've always liked your sense of style- cause its pretty amazing the things that you can pull off. I love that you are open. I love your willingness to listen and talk. I like your spontaneous plans.. I miss you living here, when we would work on math together, and drive to school together.. "Together were invincible." =]]] Be waiting for it at your wedding, sir! And i love your Amy too!!=] shes great!!

Amy- I consider you part of my family!! I love that we have alot of similarities. I love that you love to bake, and that you brought all that stuff you baked for our thankgiving! =] I love talking to you! I love that you have such passion for people, and organize and participate in all the walks.
I love that you are simple, and beautiful. =] Youre a great person!! =]]

Shea- Ohhhh shea!! We've seen it all! Im glad that now were older were better! But ive always liked certain things about you- You are such a strong person, and you have such a strong and passionate heart. I love your "sheaness"- you are unique, and you can really pull off anything! I love your tattoos. I love that you listen to our sisters when they talk to you. I like that you have such compassion on those who need it. I like that you are so independent, and secure.

Randi- Dees-Elise!! Im glad that youre my sister! =] You are such a beautiful person! You have a deep, deep heart, full of so much love, passion, and wonder. You think like me, and i love that you love people. You are genuine to me- and i can see through you and understand you. Your heart breaks at times- and i think thats beautiful, but what i like more, is that you are strong enough to pick yourself up. I love your poetry. I love that- like me- you can express yourself in writing. I hope you know- you are such a beautiful young lady! I promise that! You"re great!

Providence- I know we dont see eye to eye on most things, but there are still so many things i like about you and who you are. I like that you want to express your points and beliefs, and that you feel things so strongly. I like that you think the simplest things are soooo hilarious and crack you up. I love the realationship that you have with Ray! I love that you cherish your relationships with your friends. I love that you know how to be such a wonderful and supportive friend no matter what. I love that you and siobhan are so close to each other. I love the way-when you are around young kids- you always knit this relationship with them. They love you, and you clearly see that you are happy being around them. I like that all the career paths you want to take involve helping people!

Siobhan- What a cute girl! I love your spunk, and your sensitive heart. I love that you want to be a leader. I love that you are spunky and brave enough, to wear what you want- like your rainboots. I love how much you love photography. I love how much you love your friends. I love that i can clearly see how much you love high school. I love that you want to be original. I love that you are passionate in your faith. And i think one of things i love the most about you, is that you are generally and genuinely positive! =]

Caoin- I love seeing you grow up! Youre already in middle school!! I love when you think things are soo funny. And when you make your own little jokes and crack yourself up. I love that you love history soo much, and know so much about it. I love that you love giving me random hungs, and talking to me about random things.I love that you and dad and tadhgain all do things together on the weekends! And i love to watch you and tadhgain play (not fight and wrestle) together! Youre a pretty great little brother.

Tadhgain- What a guy! I love that you and mom are so close, and that you love to give hugs. I love your random knowledge about various things. I love that you love our little dogs soo much! I love that you enjoy spending time with caoin and dad too! I love that you tell us stories about the school day, and that you find almost everything funny. Youre a pretty great little brother too.


Well- thats my family!! =]

Next one- I'll do... Ray. <3

Ray- Theres soo many reasons that i love you! You're a very wonderful boyfriend! I love that you massage my head when i ask you to, i love that you listen when i need you to. I love that you tell me that you enjoy having me around.I like that you always make me feel special and important. I love that you engage yourself in my family. I love that you love your family soo very much, I could go on and on about you!!! But i really love- how much you love me- no matter what!! I love you!!!

Family.

I came home from work tonight into my new little "house", and i saw that somebody was watching Lilo and Stitch in here and happened to leave it on.

Although i dont particularly like people in my areas- im glad that it was on- it helped me think about something- and helped me to write! =]



You know how little adorable Lilo always says, "Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind. -Or forgotten!"



Well, nobody is being left behind or forgotten. But it made me think- while my family is having trouble with eachother on sooo many different levels- that when every thing is broken down, and just simple- We ARE a family.



I love my family. Its not perfect- its far from it. But ultimately it is the most important thing!! God blessed me with each of these unique people to be in my family- so why would i ever want to lose that? As i've grown- family has become more and more important to me and im sure it will continue to be that way- especially when it comes time to have my own family.

Family becomes a part of who you are. You don't choose your family. You are blessed with them- and them with you.



For me- you dont abandon family. you dont blame family. you love, reconcile, and forgive- you keep going as a family... and nobody gets left behind. =)



I wouldnt trade my family for the world:

I am going to write a few lovely things about each person in my family:



My Dad- He is the most Generous person i know. He has such an amazing strength in the Lord, and passion for the Lord. He is a leader, a good leader. An abundant supplier and provider. He is smart and willing. Experienced, and humble.He's my father. He's irreplaceable. A blessing.



My Momma- She has inner strength like no other. She is so committed to her role as a wife and mother. She is a good planner and care taker. She bends over backwards and makes everything work some how. She creates beautiful things. She writes like i do. We think alike sometimes. She likes talking to me, and spending time with me. She enjoys the little things, and finds god's hand in the smallest of things. She represents such great hope and peace and love. I know she would love that. =] But its very very true.



Daniel- He cares, and knows how to handle most everything. He's experienced in life, and can share is wisdom. He's a peacekeeper. He can create some of the most beautiful photos. He is real. He can cook- soo well!! =] He's so enjoyable to be around. He's the only person that smells good while they smoke ( i dunno if its just that kind of ciggarettes or what!). His laugh- makes anybody smile. And he has such love for his family-and his beautiful wife Marissa.



Marissa- She is just happy and cheery! I love her! I love that she is soo unique! I love all her shoes and cute accessories! I love that the very minute she met our family she took a personal interest in each of us, and her very own sisters and brothers. I love that she loves being a Crowley. I love the fact that we get to keep growing closer as sisters as the years go by and by. =] I love that she is a wonderful and beautiful person- who is just so perfect for daniel! I love that shes my sister now!



Rhiannon- I love that you let yourself be vulnerable. I love that you want so much for your family. I like that you try to bring humor to tough situations. I like that you've encouraged me in so many different ways. I love your passion for life, and your stamina and endless supply of energy to keep going- whether or not you want to. I like that you try to keep a good attitude as much as you can. I like that you call me and say, "Hey sister, whats up!?" quite often! =]I love all your little babies- they are all so special to me. They are soo beautiful and lovely. i love watching them grow with one another, and i love to play with them! Im glad you have realized whats most important in your life, your family- with us, your husband and your children! Love you!

Steven- I like that you encourage me to make my life- whatever i want it to be. I like that you have a strong work ethic. I like that you find the smallest things humorous. And when you laugh like a silly girl during movies! I like that you can find a good medium between serious and relaxed. I like that you have 4 beautiful children to raise with rhiannon! And i like that you do whatever needs to be done- whenever it needs to be done. =]



Jenna- You are just a beautiful person! I love how you devote yourself to both matthew and silas- and your new baby. I love how you engage them with such love and interest. I like that you can be the strong one for me sometimes, when i just talk to you. I like when you share music with me- just because you think id like it. =] I like when you come over and we just talk. =] I like when we would always stay home during "starting over" hour- and quote all those commercials! =] I like that you are just such a wonderful sister to all of us. =]
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this is getting sooo long- im getting tired- and while id love to sit and write about my family, i have to be up tomorrow kinda early- so i will resume with mathhew and finish up with the family then! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summer Story...

Tonight i came onto my blog, pretty much aimlessly. I re read many of my posts, and realized how much i've grown up since i first started writing. How much ive learned, and experienced, and healed.
I realized just how much time has gone on, and how many signifigant things have happened during this short time.

When i first started writing, i was hurt and no longer knew who i was. I was lost. I was sad, and vulnerable. I was also young. As i grew, i learned things about change, about love. Life and hope.
Lessons, i'd trade for nothing.
I experieced death in my family, i found my self lost, and found- in Christ's love and compassion.

Now, older, after having been through all of these things, I know, I will always be okay- even when at the time you don't feel like you will ever be whole or okay again.
I know i am always blessed.
I know that i am loved- always.
I've found direction- a passion, and sense of purpose.
I'm where i want to be.
I know what i want for my forever.
I know hope, and i know peace.
I've learned that patience, mercy, and forgivness, take lots of practice.

I consider myself blessed to have learned these things.
Heres to the future- and embracing all that i can.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Since i haven't written in such a long time, there are soo many different things ( about 4 months of things to cover!) Jeez!!

Lets see- where to begin?

Ohh well, in the end of May i think, I transferred to a new starbucks store. I'd thought it'd be better for me then my previous store, in some ways it was the right move. In other ways though, it was the worst thing. It's been a long and tedious journey- lots of stress, tears, and fear. Although i am taking care of everything and dealing with it as i should, this whole "process" has been quite an eye opener, but also an oppurtunity to be patient, and peaceful.
I've just been questioning lately- wheres the line? When do you stop being the "good person" and do what you need to do for yourself?

Mmm, well in June- I was accepted to California State University- San Bernardino. I wasn't really anxious about being accepted, as i was a transfer student and all. After many obstacles- i'm now fully admitted (rather than just conditionally) and registered. For awhile, i wasn't really even proud of myself for making it there, beause it just seems like one simple step up from VVC, where as all the people i've grown up with are moving away to arkansas, hawaii, connecticut, pennsylvania- all over!! I never considered moving, i never considered anything else.
However, I am really glad that I didnt consider anything else, and have ended up where i am at. I am happy where i am at,and i would never want to leave. I'm quite excited for my classes- i am passionate about my studies. Especially all my Human Development classes! =] I say that now, but we'll see what i say when the semester starts.

Not too much longer after that, my dear grandma- Donna K. Gerrits- got sick. Man, this lady is one of the strongest ladies i know. She had like 9 lives- i kid you not. Shes cheated death, time and time again. She got really sick, and had to have an emergency surgery. Doctors told her she was so weak that she might've not even made it out of surgery- let alone ever fully recover. Of course though- my stubborn and strong little grandma- did both. Eventually she was released to go home- and had been doing really well. Some had said that she was better then she'd been in a long long time. But soon after that she got sick again. My parents went down to the hospital and knew that this would probably be the last time- as her heart was weak and kept stopping. It was time for Grandma to go home. My dad told me that he watched as her heart started to slow down, and he held her hand- as if to comfort her in those last moments- he told her that he loved her. Kissed her, and let her go to the angels on June 23rd. My grandma- i've never really said much about her death since it happened. I tried to write- but i couldn't even finish writing in my journal about it. I'm okay. It's just not fully processed. I think of all these different memories when i think of her. Singing "feliz navidad" when she played the piano, her recitals. The most recent i remember ( which was the last time i'd seen her) She told me that i looked good, nice and healthy she'd said. She hugged me and told me that she was serious when i'd thanked her. She asked how i was doing in refrence to my illness, and i told her i'd been doing really well. She went on to tell me this story about a character in the bible who is so sick and sore. Yet has the faith to know that God will heal him, and that he will be okay!! Can you believe my grandmother compared me to that guy!? It's amazing! My grandma was such a blessing to have! But as life goes, as we all know it will- everybody has a time to go. My little sister wrote that "Christians are the only people who can truely celebrate death." And its true, Grandma is in Heaven!! Can you just imagine?
And although i havent fully processed and healed from her death, the priest that conducted her services, said something that really was special to me. He first explained my grandmas love and passion for music and the piano- and how most people dont understand all those black lines on the sheets- but from that- my grandma knew to make senese of all of that- and make something so beautiful. The preist had said,
"Learn to take all of these things that don't make any sense- these obstacles, these pains, sorrows,and challenges- learn to make them into something so beautiful."

R.I.P My dear Grandma. I'll keep tryin to live like that guy in the bible who had such faith and hope in the Lord!

During the same week that my grandma passed away, we had a family reunion ( for my moms side) going on. I chose to see this as God's hand in our situation, after losing a family member, what is better then surrounding yourself with such love and family? It was really great to see all of my family from that side, and get a little bit of distraction from everything, yet also get some healing, hope, love and support at the same time.

I have a great family!! I really do. It's amazing to see how we all come together in times like these.

Whoo- soo that was emotional!!


Alright- Now were in July! The month of Daniels wedding!! Yay!!
July 10th! What a day, i woke up early to finish all my homework for my classes so i could just enjoy my weekend. Seriously- i woke up at 5 on a saturday for that!! After i finished that, i realized that i needed cash for the money dance for later that night! My sister got up, and i asked her if she wanted to go the bank with me. So we left and went, took care of buisness, and headed on our way home- until my car pretty much lost control and ended up totalled!! Geez, what a damper on the day. It was soo scary,but praise god! were both totally fine- just bruises and burns! Honestly- we are both sooooo lucky to be alive! It could have been soo awful! Once again, god has a hand in everything. '
My wonderful boyfriends parents were the first ones to show up, and they were just really supportive and helpful, then my dad and sister showed up, and finally my boyfriend.
It was nice that they were all there for me to help me be okay with what was going on.
So after getting my car towed, and all that was taken care of- we all packed up our stuff and went down to the wedding!! It was a blast getting ready in the hotel room! And the wedding was soo much more fun!! The dancing and singing! And seeing sweet daniel and marissa!! (They were Beautiful!!) It was a super super great night!!

Alright, so later in July- there was the family reunion for my dads side. Which was a little weird without grandma, but it was wonderful to see all my family. It was a little bit sad that i had to come home for my school final ( it was sooo lonely and quiet at home by myself. I even cried once) but i know that my family had a wonderful time being together, and there are 1000's of pictures to show that!! Little siobhan is quite the photographer!! =]


Then school ended (Got an A!), and lifes gone a little bit smoother since then. Work is still stressful, and awkward, but hey- at least ive got a job! having no car is kinda a problem- but that'll be solved soon too. And school starts in the end of september!
So here's to maybe having a normal "summer" from here on out...

=]

Simple and Sweet

I love my boyfriend.

I think he is the greatest,

sweetest, most considerate, and adorable man ever!

I love you sweet boy!

That is all.

Hope.

I read my moms post about hope, . It was really nice to see the things that she wrote about what gave her hope.

I wish i knew exactly the things that give me hope,
I think i find my hope, in people, in who they are, and in their attitudes about life.

I think i also find hope, in simple reminders, of my dear aunt. Who was so filled with hope.

My mom put this little teal star, hanging from my rearview mirror. She has the same teal star on her mirror, I bought it for her one night, i think it was Christmas Eve. I bought it along with some flowers, and a card, and i believe something else.

It makes me so happy to know that my mom gets so much pleasure, and so much hope out of something so simple and
small.

(This is a snowglobe, that i got her for this past christmas, i got the word 'hope' engraved into it, she cried when she opened it. Im glad that this is a very special and sentimental gift to her.)

(This is the one in my car, and there is one hangning in hers too.) =]
It makes me happier to know, that like my mother, small, nice things, just give me hope.

Hope for anything.
Hope for everything.
It helps to me see my blessings, and boy howdy i have many.
I have so much to be happy for.
So much to be grateful.
I'm okay.
I'm alive, and I'm blessed.

(one day, when i can afford it, and when i figure out where i want it, i'm going to get this!)
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"There is hope, for me yes, because God won't forget all the plans he's made for me, I have to wait and see, he's not finished with me yet. No, he's not finished with me yet."

Disarray

My life, is soo unraganized right now.
After being so busy with midterms, and papers, and registering for the summer semester at VVC, and the fall semester at CSUSB..

It is finals week,(finally!).
I am so glad, because this has been thee worst semester of my college career.
I made a bad choice choosing to take all the hard classes at once: developmental psychology, critical thinking, biology, observation and assessment on young children, and then statistics- A 8 am monday statistics class at that!! Boo. =( never again!

I've been quite overwhelmed..

And needless to say, all of the other areas of my life, are so unorganized.
I dont remeber the last time I did a load of laundry, not that its a huge issue, with my extensive amount of clothes.
My car is soo dirty on the outside.


Its not just finals week that has gotten my life to the crazy point that it is now at.
The week before, I went to the emergency room, and i was just to drained, and drugged, and out of it, i couldnt do anything but sleep, lay there, and watch tv.

So now im stuck with about three loads of laundry, a car that needs washing, 2 finals to study for, and all these children (5) to watch for the night.


Ohh dear, so whats a girl to do?
Get crackin i guess!!


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So, my laptop died last night, after i'd written that, but now i can say, that all that stuff is the opposite!
Whoo!

I took my finals today, and now this semester is finally over.
Yes, the worst semester of my life is now over!
=]
I couldn't be happier!
Laundry has started!
My car is washed, vaccumed, and armor-alled.

This are starting to get cleaner, straigtened out and more organized!
so yay for that!

now off to finish up that laundry, and my bedroom!

"It's a brand new day"

"It's A Brand New Day"-Joshua Radin

( Jenna, i think that you can appreciate this)

Some kind of magic, happens late at night.

When the moon smiles down, and bathes me in its light.

I fell asleep beneath you, in the tall blades of grass.

When i woke, the world was new.

I never had to ask.

Its a brand new day. The sun is shining,

It's a brand new day.

For the first time in such a long, long time

I know, I'll be okay.

Most kind of stories, save the best part for last.

Most stories have a hero who finds,

"You make your past, your past."

Yeah you make your past, your past.

It's a brand new day, the sun is shining.

It's a brand new day.

For the first time, in such a long, long time

I know, I'll be okay.

This cycle never ends.

You gotta fall, in order to mend.

It's a brand new day. It's a brand new day.

For the first time in such a long, long time

I know, I'll be okay.

I know, I'll be okay.

While you explore yourself, and search deep in your heart for happiness.

Breathe out.

Close your eyes.

Let go of the search, just be. Don't look.

Open your eyes, Open your heart.

Breathe in.

Refreshed, a new wind of hope.

A step forward.

"It's a brand new day.:

Another step forward.

"I know I'll be okay."

=]

I love this song.

I wish people could just listen, and let go, of all the planning, the chaos..

And stop searching for happiness,

Breathe for a second, and realize, you actually are happy.

=]